Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Since he left...

The past weeks have been quite crazy for me... With the exception of the scheduled post "The Goodbye," most of my posts were pretty short/random and almost all of the Monday: Pick-Me-Ups were scheduled due to pre-deployment and after-he-left-insanity. Then, my scheduled ones ran out and you get me just now realizing that there weren't any for the past two Mondays, I apologize! If I've learned anything that I can pass along to other (newer) milSpouses:

Do not under any circumstances think that traveling a mere three days after your husband deploys is a good idea.

It wasn't for me at least... d-day I did nothing but lay on the couch watching netflix movies. The second day I had to get my butt in gear to begin my laundry so I could pack and start cleaning the house before my trip. The day before my flight I was so overwhelmed emotionally with way too much left on my pre-trip "to-do" list that I stayed up into the early morning hours trying to get it all done... then I managed to have a complete breakdown in the waiting area at the airport complete with never-ending tears and a phone call to my dad. I arrived at my parents with no toiletries except deodorant & make-up, I managed to forget all closed-toed shoes except my purple & hot-pink Nikes and my blue TOMS, my books are still on my nightstand at home, and the kitchen counter is holding my dad's favorite Hawaiian treat (Caramacs) until my return. Talk about hot-mess.

Luckily my sister is nice and is letting me share her shampoo, conditioner, body-wash, and toothpaste. I bought a $1 loofah then decided with the cold temperatures (yes, it gets cold in Arizona) and all the rain in the forecast that I needed a pair of boots since my running shoes won't quite cut it for everyday wear or matching the wardrobe, not that I don't love purple & pink... and the TOMS aren't the greatest in the rain.

As for the deployment... my hubby's team got sent to a very remote location and is gone for days at a time. They don't have phones available to them and their internet is very spotty. I've skyped with him once before it froze their internet, tried it again a second time with just the voice, and since then it's just been the text-messenger. It's so weird only being able to essentially "text" with him once every 4-10 days. I am not a fan. My husband's job is why he is where he is, but I am trying so hard not to be jealous of the other wives/my friends in the detachment whose husband's got sent to the nicer sites with full wi-fi... the facebook status updates that say "got to skype with my hubby for 3hrs tonight" make me a little green with envy. It wouldn't be so bad if it were an occasional thing, but they are getting to do this nightly. All I get to see is an "I love you" pop-up in a little window on my computer, usually followed by "I've only got 5min." I apologize though, enough of my pity party... I know others who go months without a word...

I've been staying really busy with family/friends... decorating the Christmas tree, attending a Christmas boat parade, jogging, my sister's college graduation, my mom's women's group white elephant party, walking the dogs, my grandparents coming into town, a girl's night with my best friend, and much more. It's nice being here in a house that is bursting with life and emotions. It makes me weary thinking of my big 'ole empty house that I will return to shortly after the holidays. I feel like emotionally I am doing alright, the hardest thing for me is actually getting to sleep... 1, 2, 3am are becoming a regular "bedtime" and I know this isn't healthy. It partly has to do with the anxiety issue, partly the time zone change, and partly because I am a night owl.

Any bedtime routine advice?


  1. I can relate to the no skyping thing & only getting text messages. Oh how I long to hear his voice & see his smile as he see's us for a few blurry internet moments. We get FB chat window but rare do we get to Skye. I think we have Skyped a total of 3 times in 6 1/2 months- it is no fun. Good Luck & try to have a Merry Christmas- know that you aren't alone.

  2. Aww, I relate too! I used to HATE hearing when the other wives got to talk to their husbands daily. My husband's last deployment was pretty rough... he was in a remote area, like yours. There were no computers, just a satellite phone that went in & out of reception Every—Single—Call. I was lucky at first if I got to hear from him every week or so, too. Then... I was lucky if I got to hear from him once a month.Terrible! You'll get to know your threshold pretty quickly... like, "I can go 11 1/2 days without hearing from him before going completely nuts with worry/anxiety/loneliness." Lol. Then you'll hear his voice (or see his IMs) and all will be calm and well again. Don't worry though... you'll get through it!! We're a strong breed of wives, we are! :-)

  3. Oh man- the one thing I am looking forward to this deployment is him not going with a group of people I know! Going IA means I won't have to see all the fb statuses. There is a part of me who always wondered what those women had to prove though - who did they have to show off their communication for?

    The last two deployments my husband and I had zero communication for various reasons that are neither here nor there- but I am looking forward to the spotty communication we hopefully will have this time. I know exactly how hard it is and have been keeping you in my thoughts the last few weeks. Never hesitate to drop me a line if you need to vent either! We all need it, girl!

    I am glad to hear you are enjoying time with family though! Sounds like it will be good for your soul :)

  4. Is it weird that I like reading how someone else is dealing since I'm going through this too?

    When hubby is on base, he can email or skype pretty much whenever, but the time he spends on base is growing smaller every day. Just being able to see and talk to him would get me through just about anything, but I don't have that. I'll survive. It SUCKS, but I'll make it.

  5. I did something similar when Joe was deployed. I rarely went to bed before midnight. I stayed up until I was absolutely exhausted so I'd sleep well. It took a few weeks before I found my routine, so don't be stressed out if you're in kind of a transition period for a while.

    I know it's hard to go days on end without hearing from your husband. While I was lucky and got to Skype with Joe pretty frequently, there were still weeks when his internet was out and he was too busy to call. It's difficult... Sometimes - if it'd been a while since I talked to him - I'd send him an email just for it to feel like I had actually talked to him. Maybe you could do the same? Or write letters and send to him... Think of packages you can send to him. Anything you can do to keep yourself busy is a good idea. =) I always felt better when I was doing something for him.

    I hope it gets easier for you soon!

  6. Deployment Brain... I am convinced it exists. You forget things, you get easily frustrated and you don't really sleep. I am terrified for Deployment #2, whenever it is, because we were only dating the first time around. And I had Disney to distract me. Sigh... I hope this goes super fast for you (: Enjoy your time with your family and Happy Holidays!

  7. That is rough. I hope as time goes on he's able to get some phone/better internet time in! :(

  8. I hope you will be able to get some actual phone and skype time in soon! Thinking of you!


I love hearing from you all! =)