I have literally filled this text box to the max and "ctrl-a, del" so many times now that I can't remember... I know there will be people that don't sympathize using the age old argument, "well you knew what you were getting into when you married him." But in this case I cry "lie!" I had no idea that the military would dictate my friendships, the social circle I could be in, who I am allowed & not allowed to go out to dinner with, etc. I knew that officers & enlisted friendships were a no-no, what I was't aware of is the inner breakdown...
- Junior Enlisted
- NCOs
- SNCOs
- Warrant Officer
- (Then obviously officers...)
My husband recently got promoted; however, with this promotion & the upcoming "wet down" there have been multiple briefings on company fraternization. Basically how it was broken down to us is - even though you've been friends with so&so, hung out with them at the beach, had them over for dinner... Since you are in two different inner enlisted groups that has to end. Wow. 1.5-3yrs of friendship just cut-off. Like we aren't emotionally invested. Like we aren't humans, just the chevrons on my husband's collar/arm. The worst part is that they are telling us it doesn't matter what branch of service either, so our best friends in the Coast Guard & Navy somehow count as well. *sigh*
But I know somewhere one of you is saying "but wives don't count!" Or "stop wearing your husband's rank you aren't in the military, he is!" Am I right, were you the one saying/thinking that? While this IS true, while I do know women married to men of every rank, including officers, the hurt and separation still remains. While the men are deployed it's easy - we hang out, go for brunch, have ladies nights. But the entire dynamic changes when they return... Someone married to an E-4 simply cannot go out on a double date with someone married to an E-7 within the same company. So that best friend you made during deployment can be your best friend only if your husband's never hang out. Which no offense to her but I enjoy going out on group dates, hanging out with mutual friends. I love girl time, but when my husband is home (which seems so rare lately) I want to hang out with him too!
We have "family day" coming up... I never used to complain about company events, I thought it was nice to meet the other wives in the battalion... But this time around I'm being selfish and absolutely don't want to go. I don't want to make anymore "friends" that I'm technically not allowed to hang out with while our husbands are involved.
Today the USMC fraternization policy is really bringing me down. I don't know who initially got in trouble in my husband's battalion & brought this hammer down... But even though I love Hawaii, I'm desperately missing the camaraderie we had at our last duty station.
Have any of you been at a unit with such a focus (or crack down) on the company fraternization?
If so, how did you handle it gracefully?
