Post-deployment Downtime?

I just got my husband back... Literally.

Last night we were told he could be deploying again within 3-4 months. We haven't even gotten leave yet from the last deployment. I understand he's in a specialized unit and his skill set is in high demand... But in my head I'm screaming "COME ON, IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?!"

The sad truth is, currently in his job field, there isn't anyone else. Everyone that has the skills are deployed or getting ready to deploy. Others are training to do the same. So many people have gotten out of the military (in his job field) that they are severely lacking in man power. Post-deployment downtime is suppose to be 12mo but we know way too many guys that have been sent back within the 6mo-12mo timeframe, 4-5mo seems to be stretching it though =/

It could change. The rotation time could extend, I'm praying it doesn't shorten. My saving grace is that we don't have children, I cannot imagine trying to explain why daddy would be missing Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day, and Easter again...

We haven't told anyone, not even the parents, you know how the military will change their minds 25x in the span of a week. As much as I don't like it, it would help him advance in his career as well. If it ends up being true 2011-2013 sure will be testing me emotionally, spiritually, and physically!

Learning to Live Together {again}

I think homecoming is played up to be this big beautiful event (especially with all the new TV shows) and while I think it is... date, time, and location changes are bound to happen. Or in my case you find out your husband's unit will be returning in, oh, four days. Yes I literally got word on a Friday that he would be back on Tuesday. But homecoming isn't actually what I'm here to talk about, although I guarantee ours was different than most seeing as they returned in a small detachment (27 men) and all in civilian clothing - the same way they left. I don't have any "magical" photos of my husband in uniform. I actually get questions about our d-day and homecoming photos because other Marines from the unit were there to see them off and welcome them home, so our friends/family were confused as to why my husband and his guys are the ones in "normal people" clothing, haha! Oh the life of a specialized unit!

Anyway, after my tangent, I am here to talk about re-integration aka: learning to live together after time spent apart. I got used to doing everything- bills, car issues, laundry, chores, legal items, etc. I figured he's off defending the country I can manage things here at home (not saying I did everything gracefully, or happily all the time). A week after he returned I was doing the dishes after the dinner that I prepped and cooked and he gently grabbed the pot I was scrubbing and looked me in the eyes and said: "Honey, I remember how to do dishes."

It's not that I thought he forgot how to put soap on a sponge and run hot water over pots & pans. Or that he couldn't get the mail, help cook dinner, etc. I was just used to doing it my way.

I went to bed when I wanted.
I ate what I want, when I wanted to.
If the girls called at 8:45pm asking if I wanted to head down to DQ, 9 out of 10 times I said yes.
I watched the TV shows I wanted.
Rented movies I knew I would like.
Cleaned the house in a certain order.
I made checklists for everything to make sure things got paid in a timely manner.

After the dishes situation, I let him "help out" around the house. I mean he does live here! We ran into some issues with him saying he would do something and me coming home later and the trash was still full stinking up the kitchen, or the cable bill was still sitting unpaid on the desk. No huge arguments, just figuring out the system all over again. Who does what exactly.

I think the biggest thing I had to work thru was me feeling like I wasn't needed. While I was doing everything around the house, I felt like I could be invisible at times. He was still re-adjusting to our time zone, not sweating to death in the middle of a jungle, getting to sleep in a bed and not on a piece of plywood, no longer having to do night watch every 3hrs, and instead of understanding that he needed time to decompress... I just felt ignored. One day he asked me what was wrong and I started crying and said "I feel like all I do is cook and clean for you." As soon as it came out of my mouth I wanted to take it back... what a horrible thing to say to your husband that just came home! We had a long discussion and things were eventually resolved.

We're still settling in one month later, he is getting placed in a new division of his unit so things are up in the air at work, but at least I know that his toothbrush will be in the holder, probably some stinky boot socks crumpled up on the floor- that I will remind him once again to put in the hamper - but most importantly he'll be in the bed beside me at night!

Patriot Surplus Winner!

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Erika 

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Fitting into the mold...

So I ran into this website called Feel More Better, and I absolutely love their mission page...

Women shouldn't see at a Victoria Secret's Advertisement (or any other fashion, make-up, etc) and think "oh, I am suppose to look like her..."

I am a skinny person by genetics, which is not saying that I don't do anything, I work out 3-5x per week and I eat fairly clean. But, I do not condemn other women for being curvy, I actually think it's beautiful. The pin-up girls of the 40s are some of my favorites and those women had curves!

Being skinny people often say- "oh, you have nothing to worry about, you're so perfect." Excuse me? I am just as self-conscious as the woman wearing size 16+ jeans, and no... in-case you're wondering I am not a size 2. I think every girl grows up with advertisements thrown at her on how to "be a better person" Why? Why can't we be the best version of ourselves and not change ourselves to fit the mold when it comes to looks (minus being healthy)?

I believe exercising and eating healthy is important. I personally feel that the lack of these two items have lead to the downfall of many... but I do know that sometimes that's just not the case. I have friends with PCOS, and it is an ongoing battle for them, and you know what... those ladies may not be the media's image of "perfection" but they have the most beautiful, caring, and gentle souls I know, not to mention they can rock some curvy clothing that makes me jealous at times =)

Be who you are!


**Sidenote: I don't really agree with their sex/sexuality columns due to personal beliefs, but I really do love the reason for the start of the page, and their t-shirts (which is what actually prompted this whole blog-too bad they cost like $75...)!

[Completely unrelated, but don't forget to enter, the $25 Giveaway to Patriot Surplus ends tomorrow!]

The Value of {Your} Life

Recently a friend from college was injured in a car accident while touring with Warped Tour. It is sad that he and another in the car were injured and rushed to the hospital... but what is devastating is the fact that one of the band members died on impact. While I didn't know him in person my sister did, he was actually in the youth band during her time at youth group (aka- he went to my church). The friend I did know I met in college at Chi Alpha. For him and the other guy that survived I pray they don't ask "why him and not us" for the rest of their lives and instead continue making music and living the dream that they all shared.

All of that to say... I clicked on the Facebook page for the guy who passed away (we have a lot of "mutual friends") and wow what a life he must have lived in his short 22yrs on earth! Everyone was thanking him for the positive impact, showing his joy in life, sharing his music, etc... **sidenote: isn't it crazy how fast a Facebook page can turn into a memorial?** While there were some sadder posts, such as "I wish I had told you..." "I can't stop crying..." the majority of them were positive outlooks on HIS life.

Not to be cryptic... but... what would people write on your facebook wall/blog/etc if you were gone? I would hope I had positively impacted at least one person on this earth. Even if you aren't "living your dream" or if you feel like your past was a "much better time" for you, think about living here & now... because honestly here and now is what we get. Who are you impacting with your words, your mannerisms, your lifestyle, your actions? Are you happy with that? 

[Completely unrelated, but don't forget to enter the $25 Giveaway to Patriot Surplus]

Happy 4th! {GIVEAWAY}

First- HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Awhile back I was contacted by Ruth of Patriot Surplus, she wanted to know if I would be willing to host a giveaway for you lovely readers. Who would I be if I turned down $25.00 store credit for one of you amazing followers?

Especially considering the fact that this company was created by and is owned by Veterans!

I am confident this store has something for everyone... gear and tactical supplies for the military man (or woman), camping gear for those adventurous types, patriotic tees for all, and novelty items for us proud family members!

This giveaway will run for ONE WEEK (Today July 4th-Wednesday July 11th), with the winner being announced on Thursday July 12th.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Coming Soon...

I am enjoying spending time with my husband and exploring the island, I figured you all should be able to celebrate too... not to mention the fact that Independence Day is literally just around the corner!

So... I will be posting a giveaway very soon!