"I'm Not Alright"

Last week the news wasn't good to me.
Not that the majority of the news is ever good.

Remember those incendiary devices that were all over CNN?
Well, we currently live pretty darn close to some of those government buildings.

Arizona has had not one, but two shootings within the last week?
That is my home. My home that has been on the news WAY to often lately, not for anything good either.

Or how about all of the birds just falling out of the sky?
The mass amounts of fish that have shown up floating?

What on earth is going on?
I don't understand.

In the middle of all this craziness, I have to figure out how to sell my car, make sure all my household goods are ready, get my medical items in order, give away our baby piggies *sigh*, and so much more... I am struggling thinking about starting over again. How come every time you finally feel like you fit in, it's time to leave? It seems to have always been that way for me- high school, university, my internship with the Coast Guard, my time here at this location.

It's at these times I have to remember to turn to God...

If weakness is a wound
That no one wants to speak of
Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall

I am not immune
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I’m not all right
I’m broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I’m open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on

Honestly, I’m not that strong

And I move closer to you

I’m not all right…that’s why I need you


~"Not Alright," Sanctus Real